Self Esteem In 60 Seconds: Reclaiming Every Inch of Your Curves as “Grand!”

Aren’t you loving the newfound resurgence of love, respect for, and indulgence in the glorious curviness that is you? We are, for sure.

Even though “Fat has become Fab” yet again (the natural order of the world returns!), the fact that natural bodies, shapes, and sizes are newsworthy brings other ideas to mind.

No matter how rich, popular, well-known, or fashionable you are, the sociological sphere is still full of fat-phobes. They can strike at any time. It doesn’t matter if you’re 5, 10, 30, 50, 100 or more pounds overweight. People make comments.

No matter how strong we are, how much we’re rockin’ it, we’re all in various degrees of progress. Sometimes it’s just plain challenging to hear, and to deal with after the fact.

At this point in time, no matter how many PHAT (pretty, hot, and thick) and fabulous celebs appear on the silver screen and TV screen on a daily basis, there is still that strange, ironic social stigma. Technically, our mothers are all overweight at the time of our birth. The irony is mind-boggling.

Hanne Blank, author of “Big Big Love,” has a lot to say on the matter. Her book for adults of size (adults-only, in fact: it’s about reclaiming your sensual identity when you’re PHAT) contains a lot of comebacks for people who hurl thoughtless comments your way. It’s a recommended read.

Blank says: “Fat” is a simple, descriptive word for a physical state – no different than “tall” or “muscular.”

There’s always a way to reclaim the self-esteem you didn’t even know you’d lost. It doesn’t have to do with your size. It has to do with the fact that you may be out in the world, minding your own business, when Person X, Y, or Z, throws a puddle of Haterade at you as you’re walking, stately, down the street.

If you know you’re Confidence Personified, kudos to you! In that instance, you might want to help out a fellow sister or brother who isn’t as far along down the path as you are.

Make sure you have a substantive and true support system, both personally and professionally. Secure yourself some real-life, real-time resources where you know you can truly be yourself without feeling wrong, guilty, or shamed for doing so. We’re all in process of making more progress on this planet. It helps to have people who truly get the significance of that.

Too, tranquil spaces can help: welcoming souls, groups, books, people, even companion animals (don’t have or can’t have a pet? You can most certainly pet-sit). Seeking spa treatments, going on long, reflective walks, even enjoying the stabilizing environments and peace-of-mind one can only find out in nature.

Making healthy self-reflections in your own, private journal. Any positive motions you can make toward restoration of balance and calm are green lights on this ride. They’ll help you keep your reserves healthy and high, so that rebounding from folks who’ve got no consciousness or conscientiousness becomes easier.

The ultimate goal is to someday be able to deflect the mud that compassionless souls fling. To truly epitomize Terry Cole Whitaker’s idea that “What you think of me is none of my business.” This can take some time and practice. It’s like a mental muscle. Stretch and flex, stretch and flex, allow for ample rest, and repeat. It’ll grow. This is natural law.

And Darlings, please–don’t throw your pearls at swine. Don’t hurl back insults. We know that big girls can throw down…but do not dignify the response with the same energy. If you’re inspired to respond, keep it positive, and gutter-free. That whole “F*ck those Skinny B*tches” only provides a temporary high–if you have to go there…that sort of energy is a boomerang, and you won’t necessarily feel proud about taking such a stance in the long run.

Another example: a dear friend who went to the beach to enjoy the gorgeous sunshine, her natural curves, and her new bathing suit was dissed by foolish young kids.  Their words don’t even matter enough to mention. Her response was, “Well you’re ugly, and that’ll never change!”

She’s since mentioned she regrets having lowered her energy and queenly standards to respond in that way. Mistakes happen, and I know she was still stumbling in style. She’s since rebooted, and moved forward. I admire her for that and it’s obvious they caught her off guard.

This article promises “Self Esteem in 60 seconds,” yes? Well, here’s a great tip that can indeed bring that about, in the moment. A “channeling” of sorts: when you’re not quite aligned or don’t quite feel up to par, ask yourself, “What would a woman I love and respect think about how I’m feeling right now? What would she say to me about this situation?”

Flex that muscle, Honey. Do your best to apply it, and know there’s no “right or wrong” way to do it, especially when your heart and soul is in the right place.

Resources abound, both offline and online. Here are just a few.

Related Links:

Hanne Blank Homepage

Big Big Love at Amazon

Association for Size Development and Health

OA – Even if you don’t have a problem with overeating, you will find healthy diet choices and big girl sisterhood at OA, and they have meetings both online and offline.

Health at Every Size

Adios Barbie

Bellies Are Beautiful – A gallery redefining real-life beauty.

NAAFA

This Is A War – Free resources for radical self-love and acceptance.

CSWD.org

Give yourself a big hug–from us, to you. Now, give yourself a second one–from your own heart. And not necessarily in that order.